As parents, why is it that we feel we know how we should behave, but find it so hard to live up to our expectations in reality? In the following interview, Dr Arini Beaumaris talks not only about the challenges of parenting, but provides parents with practical strategies to help align theory with action and develop family values that contribute to harmonious families.
Practical Tips for Parents
Research has identified ‘empathy’ and ‘self control’ are two of the fundamental principles that that are developed in early childhood. Dr Beaumaris outlines three strategies to enable parents to further develop virtues such as these in their children:
1. Role model the behaviour you want to see
2. Set clear goals and expectations
3. Use the vocabulary of the virtues to specifically name and acknowledge positive behaviour
Hear the complete interview
“Personally I got a lot from this conversation. It is only 10 minutes and packed with and I recommend you take some time out of your day to listen to the full interview. However, if time is short, to whet your appetite, we have extracted a short two and a half minute piece to give you a feel for the content of the full interview.
Or listen to the complete 10 minute interview here:
Using the vocabulary of virtues
For those that prefer reading to audio, below is a short piece that captures just one of the many interesting discussion points that are covered in the full interview.
“It’s a language we’re not used to using, where we are actually naming the quality of character – or the virtue – and saying what the action looks like. So as a child grows, they build this repertoire of what it means to be ‘kind’, or what it means to be ‘empathetic.’ Because we have named these actions along the way as we’ve seen it. So instead of shaming and blaming we are actually using the power of encouragement.”
“Interesting stuff indeed…The work that Arini does follows a conversation we had with Di James and Kate Munro last week, looking at the way we develop virtues as people, as adults, as parents. Because I don’t know what you think about this Arini, but I think it’s something we all assume, as upstanding citizens, kind of comes directly as we leave the hospital! god, it sounds stupid as I said that. I mean there’s no where that you learn to break down those things very specifically as a parent to impart to your children.”
For tools to assist you in building strong family values based on the language of the virtues check out the embrace virtues cards along with a free list of 26 virtues on a printable embrace virtues poster.